A guy once told me about all the adventures he'd had travelling around the world on one of our dates.
At one point, he ended up stuck in a random village somewhere in Southeast Asia during the pandemic and couldn't leave. I was fascinated. I was only just starting out on my own nomadic journey.
At the end of the date, he asked me if I was ever going to stick around long enough for him, or apparently literally anyone else, to commit to me.
I told him I'd had a good time, but I wasn't done with my adventures yet. I wasn't ready for the stable life, rooted in one place.
He told me that one day I would tire of it. From his travels, he felt that eventually it had all become mundane. This was funny to hear, given that the life he wanted seemed mundane to me at the time.
I wanted to be free.
I wanted to see more of the world, to lie on beaches that felt like literal heaven on earth, and to live lives I'd only read about. I got a thrill from packing everything I owned into my suitcase, exploring new airports, and looking out of the blindingly bright plane window to try to guess where I was flying over.
I enjoyed my own company, further convinced by the fact that, by doing things alone, I was the happiest. I mean, being strong and independent is a good thing, right?
He got the message. I told him it wasn't him, it was me. It was true.
Then he moved on.
I don't know exactly when the excitement faded, but when it did, the loneliness was loud, even in the quieter business lounges.
I saw couples, groups of friends and families on the road together. It became more and more obvious that having people to lean on was something I had started to crave.
Suddenly, the globe-trotting wasn't fun anymore. Suddenly, it was mundane. Suddenly, I didn't want to travel alone just because it was easier and more efficient.
For a moment, I desperately wanted to be the couple I saw at the terminal bickering because one of them had forgotten to pack something.
I woke up early this morning to make my husband a coffee with the kettle he complains is too slow.
As I got ready, I looked around the living room and laughed at how none of this could fit into my suitcase. Just the way I like it.
I saw new growth in the houseplants, proof that their roots were getting stronger, while the sun shimmered through the blinds.
It's been a year since I moved into this apartment, which I now share with my favourite human in the whole world. I've found a home I never want to leave.
Nevertheless, he helped carry my suitcase to the car for a business trip.
Although being without him feels strange now, I'm already excited to come back home.
A feeling I'll never get tired of.