• Personal
Debí Tirar Más Fotos
Writing everyday always seems silly in the moment, but there hasn’t ever been a time where I’ve thought “that was a waste of time”.
Even if it’s a short sentence on an activity I did that day, like “I went on a walk by the water today with him, and it felt nice” I go back to the entry and recall it as if I was right there in the moment again.

I recently flicked through some of my journal entries from this time last year. They were short, uninspired and deflated.
You’d think I’d be upfront in my very own journal as it’s the one place my secrets live, but during that challenging period, I was lying to myself because if I didn’t I was close to a full-on meltdown.
A relationship had crossed the toxic yet I couldn’t seem to stop drinking from it.
I had started the interview process for another job, still in denial by the fact that I’d already outgrown the current one that had once been a reason I’d get out of bed.
Leaving the house felt difficult. I would set an alarm two hours before my early morning boxing class just to spend it convincing myself that I needed to go because I committed. Some days I failed.
There were days I wrote about being on the floor of my apartment again, crying alone, wondering why it was all falling apart, unable to call anyone because I didn’t want them to know that I was not put together.
I was probably going through some type of depression, but I refused to label it as such. Mostly because I fear looking ungrateful for the life I built After all, how could someone be depressed when they intentionally designed it?
Get up, smile, be happy, do the work, fight the bad thoughts, just show up. That felt like torture.
January is always long. But this one has also been the most electric month I’ve had in years.
My words translated to hope (in love) I felt that night at a bar that could easily be named after me, the glee connecting with another soul like mine, the hit of inspiration looking at the work I’d contributed to so far and still to do, the growing confidence as I saw my natural curly hair make a big statement in spaces I’d fill up, the lack of tears; and so much more…

A lot can change in a year, in a month, in a day.
I lose sight of it sometimes, but my words pull me back—things always find a way of getting better.
Soon, the spring will come, summer will be just around the corner and I’ll be celebrating the final year of my twenties. Who knows what life will look like then?
For now, I’ll continue living the life that I will write about today and future me will light up telling people about.
*DtMF (Debí Tirar Más Fotos) inspired this post by title and message, plus has been on repeat for weeks 🎶

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