“I just don’t get people who have abs and that “strong” look but are also so “princess-ey” – it doesn’t seem right to me. They can’t be both….”
“Stop trying to be a fit chick. You’re too cute for it.”
Let me stop you right there.
When someone first said this to me, I was shocked. I couldn’t believe that such thoughts existed, especially in 2018 where it seems like everyone on the internet is talking about how people should be themselves in any shape or form – whether that’s a ballerina-powerlifting-artist combo.
Sadly, as the saying goes, the online world isn’t real life so the positive views I carefully curate on my social media feeds are not translated into real life. That can be both a good and a bad thing, depending on how you look at it.
Someone said it again to me recently and despite hearing it just a couple of weeks ago, my reaction was the same: shocked.
I also felt sort of attacked because if you know me, you’ll know I sing Disney songs to fill silences in my life, dress up to break hearts but equally dress down to hoodies and take pride in my drive to get stronger along with the physical results to match.
Telling someone they cannot possibly pursue bettering their body and physical strength because they have a small build, are petite, are too “girly” or princess-ey is like telling someone – oh I don’t know – that they cannot become some sort of engineer because they didn’t do a STEM degree.
Trying to put people in boxes because of societal “norms” or opinions on certain types of people (i.e. so-and-so SHOULDN’T be doing x) based on something as superficial as appearance is the reason why we remain “stuck” in areas where we want to progress.
Going back to the technology sector as an example, you see “diversity needed for innovation” plastered everywhere, yet some companies aren’t because you don’t fit the box of a typical person to work in the field e.g. you don’t hold a Computer Science degree, you are not male and are from an ethnic minority. This is something I talk about ALL the time and proud to continue to work on, with growing examples from #shefcodefirst that kick that “box” down every day.
Next time someone tries to put you in a box made out of conceived thoughts, opinions about you just because of x, y, z, take it in, smile and… continue being yourself. Without. Restriction.
Do you powerlift and dedicate 5-6 days to your physical health? But also cry at The Notebook (for the 100th time), believe in fairytales, dress like a Russian Princess and are not what “people expected”?
Sound familiar? Yeah? Continue that. Shine as brightly as you can doing that, so brightly it automatically combusts the boxes others put you in. 🔥
At the end of the day, if it increases your happiness levels by something as little as 5% then it is worth it. You do you, not what others think you should be doing.
So yes, I am small and cute, but also squatting my bodyweight. Problem?
Turns out that I can be girly with abs.
TL: DR – I can be whatever I want, do not put me in a box because of what you think of me.
Has anyone ever said anything like this to you before?